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internet journalism….

April 7, 2012

where fast-food rejects find work in the newsroom….

You have to give MSN credit. If it wasn’t for them, all of those folks who couldn’t qualify for a job at the local fast (alleged) food (alleged) burger joint would be on unemployment. The downside is, we end up reading their neo-tabloid drivel whenever we log on. A secondary up-side is, can you imagine what they’d do to a burger?

The normal offering appears to be a brief article about some terminally inane happening somewhere, like this morning’s sentinel event, a cancelled Easter egg hunt in Macon, Georgia, followed by an equally inane question for readers to answer regarding how they feel about some aspect of the so-called story.

The vast majority of these digital scrawlings are easily filed under WGFFRD, an acronym suggesting aviation and rolling donuts.

Having enjoyed a certain amount of productive experience in the realm of the now archaic “print journalism”, I can’t help but feel the need to help out, however. Perhaps if those responsible for spawning such unicellular substitutes for sentience were provided with some ready-made topics upon which to expand, pontificate, or blow their noses, they might devote their working hours to honing the skills needed to produce an occasional ballet out of language instead of incidents of spontaneous cerebral acne.

To whit, I offer some seeds for thought:

STORYLINE:
Mr. Hedgworth Ringle of East Armpit, NJ has a tradition of eating deep fried turnip fritters and herring for breakfast.

QUESTION:
Do you think this is bad for his blood pressure or are you more concerned about what kind of parents would name their child “Hedgworth”?

STORYLINE:
Farquhar Bentwhistle discovered a stray cat in his garage yesterday morning.

QUESTION:
Why do you think cats stray, and do you think Farquhar should let it out of the garage? Should he feed it? What kind of car should he park in the garage?

Have at it, kids….

 

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