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If only I’d known…

October 13, 2013

Dropping back about fifty years, I wish I had known that the road to success would be to ENHANCE and FLAUNT adolescent personality disorders instead of growing out of them. Take Justin Bieber for example. Brilliant! He discovered early on that being an obnoxious full time brat would make a bundle for him. Then there’s Miley Cyrus, the erstwhile prepubescent Hannah Montana who finds fulfillment of her addiction to public attention by forswearing clothes and air-humping on live TV to prove (to whom?) that she is now POST-pubescent.

If only I had known…… at sixteen, I was already a skilled sociopath (I’m grateful for the statutes of limitation) and shameless exhibitionist. But then a bunch of stuffed shirts conned me into things like a military commission, a pin-striped suit with a correct tie and wing tipped shoes, and all of that crap that allowed me to fit nicely into the obscure, dead center, low-middle income tier of the BELL CURVE.

Funny. Convention insists that one be absolutely correct and non-offensive so society can ignore them, focusing their attention and wealth instead on those who consistently violate the rules of convention. Maybe I should come out of retirement. I’ve still got a few tricks up my sleeve, even though I probably couldn’t outrun the constable anymore….

 

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