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Serial redundancy

March 22, 2014

otherwise known as…….

BREAKING NEWS…..

You know that bold-face, 72-point, RED BANNER that keeps tracking across your TV screen like your kid on the Merry-go-Round at the County Fair?

For the past week or two, the only things happening in the entire world…nay!…the entire UNIVERSE…..have been:

  • [1] Everything that is not known, but can be wildly speculated, about the missing air-liner. The only potential answer to the globe-riveting mystery not proposed so far is that the dish might have run away with the spoon.

  • [2] How many times Oscar Pistorius threw up in the South African courtroom… and whether or not he was a jerk for shooting blindly through a door. Even Hopalong Cassidy never pulled such a stunt with his amazing 96-shooter.

  • [3] Russia sidling into the Crimea while whistling idly and gazing around in the sky, and who scored the most points with the latest International Mother Cut to be leveled. Yesterday, it was reported that Obama scowled and shook his finger (index) at Putin. This morning it was reported LIVE….from MOSCOW that Putin had responded with “Ooooooooooooooooooo!”

All seriousness aside, I’d kind of like to sip my morning coffee to the tragic news that somebody ran over the neighbor’s dog, or yawn-inducing news about the invention of a cure for yawning, or that some street person won two bucks on a scratch off ticket in Memphis. Anything. Anything except perhaps another weather report, of course.

It really is a stretch when they play the same two minute loop for sixty minutes, every day, for a week, and call it…

BREAKING NEWS…..

 

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